The Sandwich Whore Story! Part 1

By Chartroose, 10/31/2008

Sandwich is a small mountain village nestled far above the pretentious granola city of Boulder, Colorado. Hardly anyone visits Sandwich, at least not deliberately. Hardly anyone even knows it exists, and those who have stumbled upon Sandwich accidentally are later filled with and inexplicable sense of dread whenever an Arby's or Subway or other sandwich-related commercial is aired on TV. "Make it a manwich night" is a phrase that sends shivers through even the toughest accidental visitor.

The town was founded in the mid-1800's by an ignorant clan of Irish miners named Watkins. They were later joined by a disreputable British family , the Castles, who had been thrown out of practically every American city of village they tried to settle in. The Castles had started out in Boston and had gradually moved westward with each successive generation until finally ending up in Sandwich, Colorado.

The Watkins and the Castles were a match made in Hell. When they weren't fighting, they were breeding, and when they weren't breeding, they were conducting unspeakable nefarious experiments on the local flora and fauna. They even experimented on their own offspring when they were in a party mood. Sometimes, during drunken bashes, the old folks would speak of an unnameable terror that was brought into being by a long-dead resident named William Watkins. The terror was driven out and locked away in a dungeon somewhere nearby, and, according to local legend, it was patiently waiting to be set free.

Due to inbreeding among and between the two families, each subsequent Sandwich generation became more repulsive that the one preceding it. By the middle of the 20Th century, the two families had created their own race of mentally deranged and physically deformed offspring. Extra fingers and toes became the norm, especially among the male inhabitants. Scoliosis was quite common in Sandwich, as were a variety of repugnant skin conditions, including severe supportive acne. Every new generation was a little bit dumber and a whole lot uglier than the one before it. To Be Continued..................